Waiting, Wishing, Hoping.

Here come the holidays!

There are pros and cons to this time of year. I love the feeling, and the "reason for the season."
and I love the decorations and spending time with the family.
but I hate this time of year also. I grew up with a close family. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and every birthday we would all get together at meme's house, our house, or one of my aunt/uncle's house. I loved it! It was always the highlight to my year.
but now, I never talk to them. I only talk to my Meme and my cousin Erin. I miss my family (minus a couple). I hate hearing people complain about having to go to their aunt's house or grandma's house. They never will know how lucky they are to have those memories and times in their life.
My cousin is in the Marines and engaged; I won't even be able to go to his wedding.
My other cousin just graduated and is in college to be a facialist; we were like sisters growing up and I never speak to her now.
My other cousin lives with my meme and never speaks to ANYONE. he used to be halarious and a genius.
My cousin amy lives in texas and supposedly has a baby that no one has even seen.


I hate it! I just want to be 12 again, spending the whole Christmas Eve eating lasagna(a tradition on Christmas Eve) at Meme's and going down the street to the house covered in lights and posing with all the other cousins with Santa.


On another note:

The other day I was standing in line and this girl looked so depressed. and I thought about all those people that work themselves into the ground. They don't have anything to look forward to, except trying to make it to paycheck to paycheck; just to get by.
I have my God to leave for. I would be such a depressed person if I didn't have such a great God loving me every step of the way. No matter how many times I screw up. No matter how many times I fall flat on my face. He is always there. Picking me up and setting me on my feet. Giving me the strength to look forward to the future.
I feel so sorry for the people that have never felt that love before. It is unlike anything else. People are like "how come you have so much faith in Him, even through anything you go through?" It is something you have to feel for yourself. It's a compassion type of thing. You can't have compassion without experience.



Well the end of my college class is winding down and I couldn't be more excited. I don't think next semester will be quite as stressful.

Winterguard is going to be so much fun! I can't wait! :D

Well, I will write later. I'm just sitting here, wishing I could go to church tomorrow, wishing that I was fourwheeler riding right now. But nope, I'm sick as a dog and bored. ugh.

<3Caila Lanell