you know that i could use somebody.

So here I am. I know, it's been forever since I've posted anything but i've been horribly busy.

We're already halfway through the semester, how insane is that??

I miss home, I won't deny it but not because of the reason you think.
I had a seizure the beginning of September and since then, things have been racing past so fast I can't keep ahold of everything. They realized my heartbeat is slow (like in the 40s) occasionally and thats they're only clue to why I had a seizure. We think this has been happening since the spring because I went to the doctor then, but they dismissed it as nothing. I feel dazed and exhausted all the time, and right now overwhelmed. I love FSU, but with everything on my mind, being at home comforts me. Being at FSU in my dorm, is like being at camp and that's not what I need right now. I've had to miss some of my classes to go to my cardiologist in Jacksonville. I could have went in Tallahassee but he's been seeing me since I was born and I was more comfortable with that. So the doctor appts and tests are a little agravating and pretty much just stress me out with having to arrange them around classes.

I kinda convinced myself last week that everything was fine, but then on Thursday when I went to see the Dr. Armstrong (my cardiologist) it was kind of a rude awakening that everything isn't okay.

I just want to get past all of this and be a normal college kid.

I did get some inspiration over the weekend about my future. I'm gonna get my four year degree somewhere in the medical field. But instead of going to med school I may just become a PA, or here's something new, a NURSE. and then after that, I want to join the Air Force and fly a jet. No joke. I've wanted to since I was like 8 but I always thought that it was absurd. Now i've realized that nothing is absurd or impossible. If it's meant to be, it'll find a way.

I think that's all for now. Off to do some never-ending homework.

Good Night,
Caila Lanell