You say life is waiting for the one to lose control.

So I'm back from the Keys, unfortunately. I loved it there. I have a new dream to add to my list. I want to graduate from school and buy a beach house. I haven't decided if i want like a weekend house and then live in an apartment but i definitely want a beach house. or maybe i can be a travel doctor.... I'm not even thinking about marriage, because I'm going to do what I dream of doing, and then if I decide to get married, then okay. But I'm not compromising what I want to do, for someone else.

We went snorkeling and kayaking and walked Duval Street (which was halarious). We took stitch kayaking and went to this little deserted island and stitch went running through the water and mangroves. and then she lost her bikini bottoms (yes she has a bathing suit lol) and dad had to go searching for them :P

But now I'm back and planning a party in 2 weeks. wow. that will be a first.
and I have to be at my first marching chiefs rehearsal on August 14th. Then after that rehearsal, I move into my dorm at 8pm. Then i have to be on the field again at 7:30 in the morning for preseason training. FUN FUN! haha
But i'm excited. I can't believe that in a few weeks I will be living on my own. and in 8 days I will be 18! but it's not like i want to smoke or anything, so it's not really that significant....

and everytime I think about future plans. like college, or my party. i always think about meme... but then i realize that she won't be there. and it really sucks. when me and mom went college shopping the other day, it was really sad. She always went shopping with us.. she just did. and we were so excited to go college shopping and thinking about us doing it without her was just wrong. it didn't feel right at all. she should be there, telling me what's overpriced or cute or something i need. but she wasn't there... it's like a piece of me is missing.

anyways. my going away/birthday party is on August 8th at 5pm. Just in case anyone didn't get an invitation. Just let me know if you're going. Paige is handing a bunch of invitations at band rehearsal on Monday.

<3 Caila Lanell

"Well it's hard enough to hear

Harder still, to move beyond this fear

We know there's nothing I can bring,

So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one to lose control."

~ Let It Go by Tenth Avenue North