I'm juggling and my fears on fire.

So here comes the last stretch of summer.

I don't want to go back. but then again I do; just so it will come and go.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm a little anxious. It's kinda of a consultation. Next week I'm going to have some work done on my foot (yet again) and will probably be limping for a couple of days. lol

So I won't be practicing anytime next week, unfortunately. Hopefully it won't be that bad and I won't miss anything.

My birthday party is Saturday and I can't wait. I'm hoping my friends will make it though....

A lot of people have told me they can't make it :(

From now on, I will RSVP when someone asks me! lol

But anyways, a lot has been going through my mind lately.

I need to clean out the skeletons in my closet but I can't bring myself to do it. Everytime I think about it, I get all nervous and find an excuse not to. I think tomorrow, I'm letting it all go. I'm cleaning it out and not looking back.

I still can't grasp the fact I wasted 2 years of my life. I keep telling myself I learned from it all, but I can't believe I let myself be so stupid. You know what's so funny about it all? Right before it happened, I told myself I wasn't going to date. I was going to let everyday come and when God sent that person I would know. I was just going to focus on the important things in life. Which, for right now, is making a life for myself, and living it the way God would want me to.

Doesn't it suck that life has to have this little awkward and nerve-racking moments. Like you don't know what's going to happen each day you wake up. Let alone each moment..

These times that drive you insane. Not knowing if what you are doing is what you are supposed to be doing. Thinking "what if." What if a year from now I fail? Or it all comes crashing down?

It's nice to know that through all that I have God to stand beside me.

I have the best back-up buddy :)

well off to bed.

<3caila>