no one up there will say goodbye.

We buried Meme today. It still feels like a bad nightmare that no one can wake up from. The service was simple yet amazing. Exactly what Meme would have wanted. The church she goes to is pretty big and it was packed! that just shows how lovely of a lady she was and how loved she was and is. My slideshow turned out perfect, and now I have many copies to make, and one to make for another funeral. lol [which i don't mind, i just wanted it to be something special for meme]

The hardest part was letting go. and then after that, i realized that she is closer than she would have ever been. i feel like she is sitting on my shoulders, guiding me along. and I feel so strong and capable. i was telling mom how hard its going to be, being in tallahassee and not being able to pick up the phone and talk to her, and mom told me that she is closer, and that speaking to her will be much easier than picking up a phone now. which is the truth.

We are leaving for our vacation to the keys on wednesday and then we get back the wednesday after that. Then I have just a few more weeks left that I have to get all my stuff together for college [LOTS and LOTS] and visit grandma. on top of planning that party.

but at least i will be busy and distracted....

i'm upset that i can't make it to church camp, but everything that's happened this summer was unplanned, and it leaves so much to catch up on and do. this is not the summer i dreamed of, and definitely not the summer i wanted. but i'll see her again one day. and all that matters is that she isn't in pain and she's holding Grandpa Clarence's hand and dancing.